Just weeks after announcing the purchase of a hybrid electric shuttle bus to provide its workers easier downtown access from the company's future home on Cameron Hill, officials from BlueCross BlueShield announced today the acquisition of St. Elmo's famed Incline Railway. Formerly providing tourists with round-trip access from downtown St. Elmo to the top of Lookout Mountain, the train will soon be relocated in order to provide the insurer's employees with round-trip service from their soon-to-open Cameron Hill compound to a wide array of delicious downtown lunch destinations.
"Getting a shuttle bus was a great thing, but I don't know of any other major insurer that has its own lunch train," said Mary Thompson, BlueCross BlueShield spokesperson. "We are really excited."
While some may feel that the relocation of the railway will forever and irreparably alter Chattanooga's historical landscape, CARTA executive director Tom Dugan says that, in addition to providing BlueCross BlueShield employees with easy access to mozzarella sticks and boneless wings, the newly relocated train will actually expose visitors to a seldom-studied part of Chattanooga's history. "We understand that many people will miss the Incline Railway in its current location, but its new location is not without its own history," said Dugan. "Cameron Hill was the site of at least one notable battle, and while it wasn't a 'Battle Above the Clouds,' per se, it was still fairly close to the clouds."
As Dugan points out, not only will visitors be able to relive the hill's Civil War history, but they also will be able to view a new exhibit devoted to the "Trail of Beers," which commemorates the forced removal of dozens of local college students who lived in the Cameron Hill Apartments until they were required to find new homes when the land was sold in 2005. The Incline is set to be completely moved in time for the complex's scheduled January opening.
This story is satire. Repeat, this story is satire. Do not be alarmed, only amused.
Bradley on Oct. 23, 2008
Ha, pretty funny.
grace on Oct. 23, 2008
pretty funny, I was looking forward to a ride on the incline during my lunch
ItsJustTroy on Oct. 23, 2008
Nice work on both the article and the picture!
Is it a coincidence that the exterior of the new HQ looks like the condos above the Blue Plate?
klappy on Oct. 23, 2008
haha, this actually had me going for a moment ;)
Sumit on Oct. 29, 2008
I love the graphic; wish there was a larger version. Looks very realistic.
RJGS on June 11, 2009
You had me for a bit. Actually, too bad it isn't true. I bet the ridership would be higher and it actually makes more sense. Why not at least duplicate the incline or some similar train - what about a chair lift?!