By Chad Newton Bureau Chief, Weekly World Noog
After washing down a handful of peyote with a cold Vernor's Ginger Ale, WGOW's Robert T. Nash began his "Live and Local" talk radio show Wednesday by announcing that he is ending his bid to run for Chattanooga's District Six City Council seat. "After much consideration, I have decided to drop out of the race," Nash told listeners. "While running for office would have been great fun, it has become apparent that I can better serve the city by incessantly blathering on the air until the shrill twang of my voice becomes so nauseating that folks are forced to change the station."
Nash, a raging egomaniac and drunk who tips badly, likes to kick dogs, and who ended a similar run for mayor on December 8, has been the sole host of "Live and Local" since the show's original co-host, Mary Anne Williams, resigned under mysterious circumstances in June. Nash says he looks forward to again devoting his full attention to the show, which has become popular within some circles for his constant criticism of local officials and organizations, wantonly obscure pop culture references, and cold-calling people live on the air only to find out that they have no idea about what he's talking about. "Closed circuit transmission to thieving lawyers and their minions," Nash teased on the air Wednesday, "I have another announcement coming next week that you will not want to miss." Widespread reports that the announcement will be related to charges of tax evasion being levied against Nash by the IRS have not been confirmed. While Nash is excited to have put the whole campaign issue behind him, WGOW Program Director Bill Lockhart said Wednesday that Nash's excitement over his future in radio is premature. "Damn," said WGOW Program Director Bill Lockhart. "Citadel Broadcasting stock is trading very low right now, and if Robert had run for office, he would have had to resign his position here at the station. That would have helped ease our budget problems. Now, I am going to have to fire him. I don't even like talking to him. How am I going to fire him? The guy is psycho." While Nash would neither confirm nor deny rumors that his mayoral and City Council bids were profoundly cheap and utterly transparent ratings stunts, he did confirm that he would be taking the station's "Talk Monster" RV to Miss Linda's Lawn n' Pawn in Etowah on Thursday and Friday for a profoundly tedious two-day live remote.
This story is satire.
dylan on Dec. 18, 2008
If this is satire... I feel sorry for the state of comedy in Chattanooga.
dylan on Dec. 18, 2008
why not write something that is actually funny instead of scathing. scathing is not funny.... go back to school...
m.kelley on Dec. 18, 2008
You mean, Robert T. Nash isn't satire? He was serious ?
Don't worry Dylan, we keep looking at Citadel's ratings. We have enough material for years.
Verine2116 on Dec. 18, 2008
As if anyone really expected the little guy to run. Clearly this was a ratings stunt as I've said before. I wonder if Lockhart was in on it. There is no way he would have won anyway because most of his supporters live outside of Chattanooga, sitn' at home drinkin' mango and papaya juice with Popov and washing it down with Busch Light.
RTN has never done anything to build up Chattanooga - all he can do is critisize everyone else. What a great job! No wonder he didn't leave. He's accountable for nothing. And he can always justify what he says by adding "in my opinion" at the end of everthing he says. Kind of like saying "all due respect" before you insult someone.
One thing you can't doubt though - Little Napolean will move on to other battles to keep himself in the spotlight.
Robert T. Nash on Dec. 18, 2008
Thanks for listenin'...
Kordax on Dec. 18, 2008
Robert T's aborted candidacy was a deft move should he wish to pursue elected office in the future. Without spending a dime, he identified potential supporters (both ground gamers & contributors) and he's served notice to office holders that he's a potential player perhaps next time which means he'll probably benefit from back-channel information sources who have scores to settle with existing pols....
No downside in flirting with running but the upside could be large.
Robert T. Nash on Dec. 18, 2008
I've got One-Hundred Bucks that says I pay more in property taxes to The City of Chattanooga than anonymous Internet geek Verine 2116 does...