Hello, dear readers! As you might imagine, I've been quite busy for the last few weeks. I just wanted to take a few minutes to reassure you that I'm still alive and well, despite getting my Twitter account revoked.
I'm pretty upset about the whole thing because I'd grown fond of reading about what each of you ate for breakfast. You guys were even starting to influence my strategic planning. For example, based on the amount of coffee consumption discussed on Twitter, I was working on a plan to recruit organic coffee growers to Enterprise South if VW didn't pan out.
Thankfully for all of us (and especially me), VW made the right choice and will be building their plant in the Scenic City. Which reminds me... You may have read statements in the Times Free Press where Governer Bredesen and Senator Corker claim to have been informed of VW's decision the Friday prior to the official announcement.
I don't mean to question the fine reporters at the TFP, but that can't be true. I didn't even know about VW until an hour before the press conference. Bob called me on my RAZR and told me to show up at the Hunter ASAP with a nice suit on. I was surprised at how well-organized everything was on such short notice, but the museum folks probably do events like that all the time. Right?
Anyway, all of this is beside the point. VW is coming to Chattanooga and we'll all be driving hybrid Jettas to our downtown condos. The Chattanooga valley will flow with milk and honey. And with any luck, I'll be back on Twitter soon and you can follow my tweets all the way to my landslide reelection.
Auf Wiedersehen!
This article is satire and was clearly not written by the real Ron Littlefield.
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