In yet another example of pandering to our new German overlords welcoming Volkswagen to Chattanooga, local radio station 96.5 The Mountain announced today that they will be switching to a format described as "primarily German techno" in early 2009.
After years as an alternative rock station, The Mountain now plays a mix of genre-hopping Top 40 hits by artists such as Mariah Carey, Justin Timberlake and The Fray. The upcoming format change will bring the electronic sounds of Sven Vath, AME and Len Faki to the ears of Chattanooga radio listeners. Monoq, an incredibly popular techno artist, is also reportedly in talks to headline a free concert downtown to help launch the station's new format. Station officials say they are thrilled about the announcement:
"Our most recent format switch proved that we're not focused on playing unique, interesting or even particularly good music on The Mountain. Now we're excited to be following another hot trend. My only concern is finding enough German techno to fill the 14 hours a day that we aren't playing commercials for Titlebucks. We may have to fill in the gaps with a few of David Hasslehoff's greatest hits." —Danny Howard, Director of Operations and Programming
Local residents, on the other hand, don't seem as excited about the switch. Middle-schooler Kody Marcus, who recently pulled off a rare dork-to-sort-of-cool-kid transformation, is worried about the future of his social standing. "Mom won't let me watch MTV or get on MySpace, so I listen to 96.5 to find out what everybody else likes," Marcus said. "I'm totally going to start getting beaten up at school again." Similar disappointment was expressed by a group of soccer moms gossiping over smoothies in the Hamilton Place food court.
When pressed on whether German techno was really a format Chattanooga residents were clamoring for, Mr. Howard curtly replied, "Don't you love Volkswagen and appreciate what they are bringing to this city? Stop asking so many questions!" He promptly exited the building and was whisked away in an unmarked black Passat with heavily tinted windows.
This post is satire, but barely.
jmoss on Aug. 28, 2008
I heard they're hiring Dieter from the short-lived show Sprockets on SNL as head DJ
m.kelley on Aug. 28, 2008
They've had to contract Dieter's monkey separately, he was actually using the stage name "Brad Steiner".