A spokesperson from the Chattanooga Police Department stated that an officer lost his shirt Friday morning while on duty in downtown Chattanooga. The same officer had lost a taser last Tuesday night in the Rossville Boulevard area, which had detached from his belt while either exiting or entering his patrol car. The taser has since been recovered by a local resident.
The unnamed patrol partner of the unnamed officer recalled the story, saying, “We were immediately dispatched to the downtown area, after hearing a report of a car alarm going off, and after our investigation, as we got back into our car, I looked over and was startled to see a torso of pink flesh covered with thick, curly hair. ‘Where’s your shirt? Where’s your shirt?’ I started shouting while pointing at him, before he looked down at himself and jumped out of his seat after noticing it was gone. We looked all around the car and walked up and down the street, but we couldn’t find it. It was weird, but the truly weird thing was that he was still wearing his badge on his chest. I don’t know how it was staying up.” Any citizen who may find the shirt (dark blue, size XL) is asked to notify the Chattanooga Police immediately.
This story is satire.
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