Since 1996, you vote for Bill Bennett, or you vote for no one. "No one" also fairly accounts for how many people are aware that this position is up for election (possibly including Bennett himself). Funny how the Hamilton County Election Commission left The United States Senate primary off the ballot; and then, after ballots were reprinted, discovered that they had also omitted a candidate for The United States House of Representatives; but boy, they remembered the county property assessor throughout.
What does the Assessor of Property do? The description found on the department's website says that he "sets an appraised value on each parcel of land located in Hamilton County and any improvements on it for assessment purposes." But wait: it goes on to say that "[a]ssessments provide the basis for determining the amount of real and personal property tax the property owner must pay; however, other offices and entities substantially influence the amount of tax the property owner ultimately pays." So, the appraised value that the Assessor assesses doesn't have much of a say in the final amount of tax due. We need a little help here. Let's call in the Bobs.
1st Bob: What you do at the Assessor's office is you take the amounts from the appraisers and give them to the other offices and entities for final tax calculation?
HCAP: Yes, yes that's right.
2nd Bob: Well then I just have to ask: why can't the appraisers plug the amounts into a formula? HCAP: Well, I'll tell you why...because...appraisers are not good at dealing with software...
1st Bob: So you physically take the amounts from the appraisers?
HCAP: Well...no. My secretary does that...or they're faxed.
2nd Bob: So then you must…physically bring them down to the other offices and entities?
HCAP: Well...no. Uh...sometimes!
1st Bob: What would you say you do here?
Okay, we are just having a little fun. But we only do so with the intent that you'll think about your vote, as opposed to mindlessly darkening an oval next to a candidate name or elected office about which you know nothing. This series will continue through the August 7, 2008 election, and will resume as the November 4, 2008 election approaches.
Joe Lance
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